fat n fab???? REALLY?

well im sure u all heard bout it.
n goddamnit i hate those. it was never true.
pls listen girl. if u r fat then u r ugly.
yes im telling u now...

skinny is beau..pretty..lovely..
everything u do is beau....

so those fat ass out there pls dun post ya ugly pic anymore.
make me puke!

argh!

hell yes. yesterday at 1 point im so stressed
out. my mom called. my sister called. i mean
why dont they jz leave me alone.

then i gone wild n wanted to eat some
chocolate or maybe hot choc? then
i remember if i eat, then i ll have
more problem tomorrow. so i did it.
n just sip my unsweetened coffee..

YAY!

SHOPPING!!!!

but only fer food...

so today i went out with Love. cos my
healthy food is out of stock.

so i bought zucchini, cauliflower, and
shitake mushroom. im not sure how
to cook shitake but i ll browse in net.

then the most expensive of all is a
supersize prawn and norweighn salmon.
fer prawn i took 18pcs. fer salmon
i took 2 slice boneless and cured.
huuu damn expensive. but the
salmon i swear i took the biggest
and the fattest one. heeee.

cant wait to cook and eat em tomorrow...

bought skim milk!

that was yay fer me cos i've been looking fer this so longggggg.
when i saw it i straight away grab it.

it taste good and also low in cal. only 88kcal per serving.

love it. love it. love it. as fer today meal;

brekkie: 1 kiwi
lunch:4oz white rice+1 grill fish+cucumber
4pm: went to ikea and ate set of 5pcs meatball(damn)

yes i went with Love and then i cant just dun eat.
so i ordered set of meatball(5pcs meatball,fries+lignonberry)
and yes the super delicious gravy.

so no more dinner fer me!

menu fer tomorrow..

i plan dz fer tomorrow..

brekkie: 1 egg + 1 coffee
lunch: unsweetend tea
dinner: low cal latte.

kinda liquid diet... heee

Jilian Micheals!

yep. jz finished JM 30 day shred. level 1.
i felt good. gonna try this fer 30 days.
wanna see whats its goog it gonna do to me.

i hope to break my pleateau very soon.
i felt very beau after finished the workout.
and im so happy!

ex-boyfriend!

yer. u heard me. jz now he saw my latest pic on fb.
then straight away he say i look fat! i mean why would
he said something like that? myb cos i dumped him before.

arghhhh i hate dz feelin'. i feel like a real loser..
cant wait to be thin. so tomorrow better be a good day
fer me. if not u better die!

stalled

my weight loss has stall.. last week by dz time i has lost
6lbs. so i decided to keep changing my diet every week.

or maybe i shud do ABC diet,. so that i can trick my metabolism..
but for sure my diet consist of no oil at all...

during dinner i feel so longing to eat rice,fries.. etc..
but i dun want to hate myself after that.. so i ate
only banana n im happy rite now..

i dun know what happened to me now. everytime i wanna
eat, i feel so scared. i dun think so i scare to food..
it jz that like i told u ealier, i hate myself after i ate.

i kept thinking "will this pile me later?". even the
food that im staring at is FRUIT. damn it.

now i even hate chicken. that when i grilled chicken
breast, i will divide them to four, ate 1 piece and
gave the rest to love. he look worried..

i dunno what to do..

why i hate myself after i ate?

i wonder if this same thing happen to anyone else?

my bad n my 1st follower.

tq to Elizabeth fer being my 1st follower. i never
tell this little secret to my frens. so im glad that
someone is reading my little secret.. tq so much dear.

erm today was okay fer me at 1st, but then.. let see
what i ate 1st;

brekkie: 2 plum + 1 coffee(unsweetened)
lunch: 1 grill chicken + cucumber
dinner: 1 grill chicken + 1 tomato.


then.. my sad story began... love asked me out
and he insisted me eating cos he said what i ate
is not enuf fer my body. so i ordered spicy chicken
soup and unsweetened lime tea.. its was okay.

but the spicy chicken soup is real SPICY.
and i gonna weight my self tomorrow morning!

conversation with love..

me: do u remember the last time im thin?
love: yes, whats bout it?
me: do u like it?
love: of course. u r damn hot.
me:...(thinking..)
love: i took u out everyday(we havent moved in together)
me: really???


to think back, yes he is. i do remember he took me out
everyday back then(when i was thin)! it make me angry
and wanna be thin again.

collarbone

finally i can see my collarbone...and im happy bout it..
yesterday love says he felt that im lighter while i sat on his
lap.. i dun know what to say.. im doing all this fer him.
i wanna he be happy. i dun want to be unconfident when
with him(u know what i mean). i love he so much. we've
been together for..7years..

enuf bout love, and i tried some of my old colth. some
of them can fit in them.

ana are rite, 'nothing feels as good as being lean'...

received my bag!

hi. up there is the pic i purchase. and received it jz now im so happy. 

and the best thing is that i can keep my laptop inside!

online ordering!

hello guys....

since a lost a bit weight(so far 10lbs), i notice that i fond to
grooming. so when i saw online shop fer handbag, cloth etc...
i end up with ordering them. now im waiting fer a beau handbag..
jz paid and will received tomorrow... yeay!

i cant wait to fix my laptop. i want upload those interesthing photos!

weight in !(tomorrow)

hello guys.. tomorrow im gonna weight in and see whats my progress.

as for today i've eaten:

brekkie: 3/4 green apple + cup tea(as told earlier)
lunch: grill chicken breast + 3/4 royal gala apple
dinner:

as fer dinner i edi grill 2 chicken breast. so i ate half during lunch.
and save the other half fer dinner. but fer dinner i ll totally have
some vege (maybe tomato OR iceberg lettuce). lately, im so
lazy to eat vege. i prefer fruit. i love banana but cant eat much
cos last time i had banana everyday my weight stall... maybe
bcos banana is high in carbs!

p/s: im sipping my coffee.... with artificial sweetener.. of course!

plan fer dinner?

well im thinking of grill chicken and salad. yummy!

gonna go out and see if there's any fresh chicken around!

carbs for love..

hello all... ya i know its kinda double meaning...

but today morning love told me he wanna eat carbonara fettucinni.
so i went out and buy some groceries. i bought

1. fettucinni
2. prego carbonara
3. mince meat
4. fresh milk
5. huge iceberg lettuce
6. strawberries
7. grapes
8. royal gala apple
9. green apple(never fond of em,jz bought bcos they're cheap!
10. salmon

no.1 - 4 is fer love. the rest is fer me... 

and tonight im working nite syif... hope im not gonna be hungry...

maybe i l bring some fruit and dun have to eat supper my boss

has provided....

water fasting anyone?

well anyone heard bout that? well i found em on youtube.
they said fast as long as you can. the 2nd and 3rd is the
hardest. them it ll be easy..

during fasting you can drink tea, coffee and plain water.
tea n coffee only with artificicial sugar or plain. i think i shud
try dz one. n hope to lose 10lbs a week.

my plan is fast fer 5 days then eat natural food then fast again...

pray fer me people... cos im doin this for my happiness..

i hate being fat n being told "hey u look fatter"..

i jz pray whoever said that they will be fatter n gain weigt
all their life. i hate em so much.

im gonna shock everyone. even love family. cos
last time i saw em they said all damned thing to me.

and i hate all people who said all the thing to humiliate other ppl!

cos its a bad day..

girls... i dun know what to do. i google and found few tips from
pro ana sites. i kinda like fasting. but i dun know i can make it or
 not since my work is alot n its consist of lifting and walking alot.
like ALOT. but i never knew if i never try them.

i mean i want be skinny real fast. being fat make me feel insulted,
humiliated and not special. and i regret that i ate bowl of ramen
during lunchtime. so i thrown them all out. then have a headache.

so my dinner: couple spoon boiled rice+ stir fry vege

then i sips my tall glass of tea(with artifial sweetener). then it fill
me up until now. love noticing and he kinda sad cos im starving
myself. n he knew how much i love to eat. how much i enjoyed
food.. but not anymore.. nowadays he always ate alone.
i stayed in the room faking sleep o jz tell him i wanna go bath
o feeling not well.

i hope i can lose weight fast so that i can make him happy.
and im happy...

new hair cut!

that's right guys. you heard me.

i cut my hair. seriously. my hair was too long for so long..
so i cut em from hip lenght to shoulder lenght only.

and when i showed love he say 'u look damn hot n sexy'
he hugged me and the next story was-----> censored!